Egg donor blog

About 2 years ago, I completed a full donation cycle.  I was almost 20 years old, as my clinic allowed donors between 19-25.  Everything went very well; my doctor was very pleased with how well I produced and after the surgery, they informed me that they were able to retrieve 11 eggs, which I guess is a lot.  I felt fine, went back to my normal life and was all around happy with experience.  I contacted my coordinator from the office, who was so nice and helpful with me every step of the way, a few days after I knew the recipient was having her operation.  I just wanted to make sure everything went just as well for her as it did for me.  My coordinator wrote back saying yes, everything went great and thanked me again.  About 9 months later, I was just so curious as to how it went although I knew there was nothing I could find out.  So I called the office asking for the same coordinator who helped me with my cycle.  I wanted to tell her that I was interested in donating again.  She no longer worked at the office and I spoke to a new woman.  She looked up my file and informed me that I am no longer able to donate again.  Basically, things didnt go as planned.  But she, of course, could not give me any information.  I did NOT see this coming, nor was I prepared for this at all. To my surprise, I was so upset.  Not that I couldn’t donate again, but I just felt horrible.  I felt like I failed.  The only thing I could think of was my recipient couple and how sorry I wish I could tell them I was.  I know for a fact that I did everything right but I guess when dealing with IVF, nothing is guaranteed.  I stayed on the phone with the woman for a good 20 minutes trying to get anything out of her that I could.  Was a child even born?  Was the child born with an illness/disability?  I just wanted to know what went wrong. But she just kept saying, I’m very sorry I am not allowed to share any of this with you.  It’s been about a year since that conversation and I still think about what happened.  Someday, I want to have children of my own but in the back of my mind, I am so hesitant and skeptical because of what happened.  Any thoughts on this?  My family has no serious illness or disability anywhere down our generation line.  I just really wish I could find out what happened.

I’m sorry this was your experience with egg donation.  I’m also sorry I’ve little insight to offer.  I wouldn’t default to thoughts of negativity, though.  It’s very possible, more likely, even, that your recipient was not able to get pregnant, or miscarried.  Women go through IVF because they cannot get pregnant or carry children of their own.  Just because the egg is healthy means nothing with regard to the recipient.  Not being able to give you any information is very standard, and you could call daily for the rest of your life, they still wouldn’t tell you.  I am not emotionally attached to the egg donation process, so I don’t have feelings on the matter regarding resulting pregnancies, or desire for follow up; that said, I would not beat yourself up, or live surrounded by fear and concern for your health, based on the turn out of your cycle.  There is only so much you can control, and this is not one of those things; don’t let this loom over you.