There Is Mental Illness in My Family

September 23, 2013 in egg donor blog by Kate

I’m considering being an egg donor, in honor of some folks I know who can’t have kids by any other means for one reason or another. I was mildly depressive in college, to the point where I was on medication; also, my maternal uncle is paranoid schizophrenic. In the interest of being 100% upfront and honest with future parents, I’ve put this in my application. Looking at your other responses, I think I know the answer, but I’ll ask anyway: Do you think I have a chance of being picked? I think I’m a stellar candidate otherwise, and no one’s perfect.

First of all, your grammar is impeccable, and there were SO many times for it to go wrong in your question.  Off the bat, I’m impressed, and I’d take more than just a passing glance at your application.  So, go into the entire process knowing this, if NOTHING else:  You will have absolutely NO idea what a recipient couple is looking for.  Were it me, I’d pass on any girl–no matter her other qualifications–if she had poor or misused grammar.  It’s of the more telling quirks to a person.  So, okay?  Got me?  That said, and here’s what you’ve been waiting for–once I were to let you through my first round of donor possibilities, I’d pause at the mental health issue.  It’s a HUGE issue because it’s pretty pervasive in the genes.  It’s not necessarily overwhelming, and it may not even manifest, who knows?  But when my option is another donor I’m trying to decide between, I’m going with the one who has no history of mental illness in the family, here, there or anywhere.  On the other hand, someone may not care as much–someone who has a history in their own family, maybe, and is aware and prepared to assume the risks, and navigate the diagnosis, were it to be an issue later down the road.  I really don’t know.  I can only ever answer y’all’s questions as if it were me, or as it was my experience.  Your agency will be clear about how they feel–as it related to them and their experience, so the suspense won’t endure.   Good luck, and like I said, flawless grammar is such a particularly specific quirk that–for the exact right couple–you would make your way to the absolute top of the list.