Egg donor blog

After taking a full course of injections, I went to my pre-op appointment and discovered that only four follicles had matured to the proper size for extraction.  Upon learning this, the recipient couple cancelled the cycle 37 hours before my surgery was scheduled.

I’ve got all kinds of disappointment over this, that I never figured I would have.  For starters, I’m disappointed because I had been looking forward to using the money to travel and balance my finances.  Second, I’m slightly miffed that now I have a belly full of four giant follicles and several smaller ones that I just have to deal with until my period.  But even more so, I feel like I failed somehow.  I can’t understand why it didn’t work out.  The clinic screened me for fertility and said I had plenty of reserves, etc.  I’m extremely healthy.  I just don’t get it???

I keep trying to go over in my mind how I might have messed this up.  Did I inject the hormones in the wrong location? Did I lose too much of the meds while trying to squeeze air bubbles out of my syringes?  Or worse… am I getting too old so my fertility has declined?  Of course, the logical part of my brain knows that I can’t be responsible for how my body responded to the meds.  But still, I can’t shake the feeling that I let everyone (the doctors, nurses, recipients) down.

I wanted to ask, first, if you know any reasons why the meds might fail to produce multiple follicles and, second, if there might be a chance of having more success upon a second attempt.  I would also be glad for any supportive words you might offer.  It’s hard to get support from friends because most people have no idea what I just went through and can’t relate.

First of all, let me say how sorry I am that this was your donation experience.  I can’t imagine.  But I’m a logical being, not an emotional one, so I’ll approach this from the direction of logic.  Just because you’re a good candidate on paper doesn’t mean it’ll be the case in execution.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you just didn’t seem to respond to the meds.  Doesn’t mean you can’t have worthy eggs or that you can’t get pregnant yourself, it just means you don’t respond to meds.  It only takes one egg.  You had 4.  Since we’re gonna check emotion at the door and deal with this logically, let’s be serious about something:  IVF is a numbers game.  Your numbers were low, you were ousted from the game.  So, while having absolutely everything to do with you, this outcome has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Make sense?

And why aren’t you getting paid?  I find it incredibly strange that you’d not be compensated when you were compliant for the duration and the cycle was ceased on the part of the recipient; they don’t just get to not pay you; and I can promise you that my contracts absolutely state that even if but a single eggs is viable, I am compensated.  And if it’s not in your legal contract, then child, you live and learn.  I’d look into that immediately and make darn sure.  As for donating again, I can’t answer that.  I can’t imagine going through a donation with no result and no pay and thinking I may want to try again to make sure it’s not just me.  No way.

I’m very sorry that your experience went down the way it did.  If you choose to be a donor again, I’d consider switching agencies–you need to feel over one jillion percent secure that whatever agency you have representing you is the kind of team you know will have your back and make sure your best interest is always the first thing on the list.  Chin up.  I mean it.  Don’t be down on yourself over this.  Live, learn and move forward.  Good luck.