Egg donor blog

I recently donated in May.  Since then I have been asked for another donation, and am moving forward, beginning birth control next week.   At my last donation, I received a BEAUTIFUL card from the recipients (until then, it was anonymous), who included their first and last names, and encouraged me to keep the line of communication open between us, and they would update me through my agency.  I went into a donation assuming it would be 100% anonymous~ I am a mother, happily married, and while I was SO touched by their letter, it made me a bit nervous thinking I may have updates through the years.  The agency let me know that the recipient mother is pregnant with twins.  Yay!  But I know I would not feel the same if I received pictures of these children…. I am battling with many emotions here- but don’t want to shut this woman out….we have exchanged a couple very nice messages through the agency, and she is mostly the reason I decided to donate again….do you have any NON-a nonymous relationships with recipient parents? What would you do if you felt the way I do?

Ohhhhh no.  Deal breaker.   I met one couple…gay men, lawyers, from New York.  It was a condition of the donation.  I never hesitated because not only do they not live here, they’re lawyers and understand a contract.  We met under every understanding that it’d be the last time we made contact, and it was.  I had 4 donations with them over the years without any sort of additional communication.  I have received flowers from a couple and a necklace from a couple, but both times via my agenct, not the couple themselves and with no names given ever.  It would absolutely, under no circumstances, be okay with me to have any sort of dialog with a recipient or the resulting children.  Absolutely not.  If you do not want the relationship, I suggest you shut it down immediately.  The connection has been made, and will not go away without your action, it looks like.  I can’t decide this for you, but I can assure you that were it happening to me, I’d make it very clear that this is a violation of our agreement and it needed to stop right away.  Good luck with everything.