Egg donor blog

At my medical screening appointment the doctor said that one of my ovaries is “stuck” or “glued” behind my uterus.  He said that because of that it will be harder for me to get pregnant and, although I could still be a donor, it’s going to be much harder for him to retrieve the eggs.  Although I am frightened by the procedure, side effects and long term effects of the medication, and self-injected shots, I am willing to go through with the process.  One thing, however, I would never sacrifice is my own fertility.  This brings me to the point:  I have read that sometimes, as a complication, after the egg retrieval an ovary might get twisted and cut its own blood supply, making itself “out of order”.  I am highly concerned that if this happens to my “good” ovary, it could reduce my chance of pregnancy dramatically.  I am nervous that doctors sometimes might slightly “push” the donors towards the donation in order to get paid.  What do you think, Kate?  I am 28 years old, and it will take me at least 3-4 years before I am ready to have children, but I know for sure: I really really want them.  Also, I have read that the pain after the retrieval sometimes is just unbearable, and during the stimulation one might be so bloated it seems she is 4 month pregnant.  Is that all a myth?

This is a lot of medical stuff I know nothing about.  I don’t know what it means to have an ovary “stuck” anywhere, and I do not feel–based on what doctors have assured me in the past–that egg donation affects your fertility in any way.  That said, I’m speaking as someone who went into being a donor without any sort of medical hang-ups.  And I have said this time and time again:  There is nothing about the pain and/or weight-gain that’s out of the ordinary, or unbearable or irreversible within days of your retrieval.  I have 7 full prescriptions of pain killers from my “career” as a donor and I never even opened a single one because there wasn’t enough pain to justify it.  The hesitation you seem to have, however, with regard to “the procedure, side effects, long-term effects of the medications and self-injections,” feels like enough hesitation to not proceed with egg donation until you’re reeeeeeeeeeally sure.  Add on top of that these fears you have about your possible infertility….  I can’t answer this for you, but I know when I decided to be a donor, I had no hesitation about any of it, and I can’t imagine going forward with the process unless I were free and clear of any and all worry, concern or anxiety.  Good luck.

I have only ever smoked cigarettes while drinking, and the last time I smoked was about a month ago.  I’ve also smoked marijuana very, very infrequently in the past (about 10 times in my entire life), but the last time was in early March (only about 2 months ago).  How long will I need to wait to donate because of this?  Do I need to wait at all as long as I don’t smoke pot or cigarettes again?  Thanks a bunch.

First things first, stop smoking it all.  Be done.  If you’re even thinking about donating your eggs, you don’t need  to be smoking anything.  I can’t tell you anything else to answer this question.  Smoking pot and smoking cigarettes is not something a donor does with any sort of frequency that would make it relevant.  I’d wait a month or so before going forward.  It won’t be a deal breaker in becoming a donor, but it’s a deal breaker once you are a donor.  No matter where you are in your process, if you are in fact in process, you needn’t be doing anything extracurricular that you wouldn’t do in front of, say, your grandmother.

I have donated 4 times in 8 years.  I have gained some weight (about 30lbs) over the time period.  I am looking into ways to lose weight and I hear that it is important to understand why you have gained the weight, to lose the weight.  People who have high cholesterol should train and diet differently than those with lots of cellulite and those who rarely exercise should diet and prepare to lose weight differently then those who exercise regularly yet gorge on food.  I want to figure out what plan is best for me, however, I think it would help me figure this out better if I understood why egg donors tend to gain weight.  It has been a warning for me each time I donate, however, I never knew if it was the increase in hormones causing extra fat or cellulite or the inactivity while being on the medicine or what exactly it is that causes extra weight, besides getting older with egg donors.  Can you explain this for me so I can talk to my nutritionist and weight loss coach, having a bit more information about what happens to egg donors bodies?  Do we gain more fat cells or do our fat cells enlarge or is it something else like cellulite or blood flow or chemical mixes causing the weight gain warning that doctors give donors?  Thanks!

All I can ever promise is that I’ll be honest and tell you what I know with regard to egg donation.  As such, I can tell you that I’m 31, I just finished my 7th donation 2 weeks ago, and after gaining about 7 pounds during the process, I’ve already lost about 10.  In any of my donations, I never gained weight that wasn’t normal water weight, and I never hadn’t lost it by the time I finished my period about 2 weeks later.  I can honestly say that I’m not sure the hormones are the cause of your gradual weigh gain, but I don’t know–everyone is different.  I’m afraid I don’t have any additional insight for you.  I wish you luck getting to the bottom of it!

I’ve recently been chosen as a donor.  I’ve been taking my hormone injections for a week now and went in for an ultrasound today.  They are only seeing 5 follicles and have increased my meds. The part where I am discouraged is the Dr. told me it is very highly possible that I will have problems conceiving and with infertility due to my low amount of eggs I am showing.  I am 27, very healthy, and have a 3 year old daughter whom I became pregnant with only 4 months of trying.  My husband plans on getting a vasectomy revearsal next month and we plan on trying to conceive right away.  How have I become “infertile” in just 3 years?  I am a non-smoker, very active, I workout 3-4 times/wk, don’t use drugs, etc.  I’m so confused and now emotionally torn. We have the trip for his reversal planned, and now I’m terrified I’m donating the last few eggs I have.  Also, I’m now concerned the couple won’t want to use me as a donor any longer and have gone through all this hormone meds for nothing.  My next ultrasound is in 3 days, I will ask about compensation then (whether I will still be paid for my eggs), but until then I am panicking about this “infertile” comments the Dr. was saying…what has happened to my body since just 3 years ago?  I just don’t understand.

There is a lot here I’m not going to be able to help you with.  A few things, though, I can.  First of all, you’re not getting rid of the last of your eggs.  You’ll get more eggs in stock next month, and the month after that.  If you don’t have a lot of follicles, you don’t have a lot of follicles; every woman’s biology is different, and clearly, you’re not infertile.  Every legal contract I’ve signed as a donor says that I get paid whether the doctor retrieves one egg or 20.  Don’t stress yourself out about this.  I think it was probably irresponsible for the doctor to have said something like that and leave you hanging without further explanation.  At your next appointment, ask every question you can possibly think of.  Get it all out of your system and make good and sure you understand exactly what he’s saying to you.  Good luck with everything.

I smoke the occassional weed and have had ONE abortion, does either disqualify me?  My medical history is pretty clear so there are no problems there, and if I have to I will of course stop smoking…I am 5′2 and weigh 105 and am perfectly healthy psychologically and physically.

Uhhhh, yes, you will need to stop smoking to donate your eggs.  I mean, look, my most recent donation came 2 years after I thought I was done with my donating career–literally, out of the blue–and I failed my drug test because I smoked a joint with my brothers on New Year’s Eve, and it never crossed my mind to care.  I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m sure many will disagree, but I don’t think that joint is going to affect my eggs in the slightest.  That said, if you want any chance whatsoever of being an egg donor, quit smoking dope yesterday.  And, yeah, your abortion could be a factor only because everything is a potential factor.  But that’s a doctor question, I won’t even guess.

I’m on day 4 of stim and yesterday they left me a message stating my estrogen is at 28.1. Is this a normal estrogen level at this point? Or is it low?

To be honest, I don’t know anything about that.  I assume if it’s too high or too low, that would have come up in the voicemail.  I would go on about your injections and make sure to ask at your next appointment!

Will egg donation affect my cycle immediately following donation? Will I have a weaker or stronger ovulation? I have read that there will be increased fertility in the month following donation. Is this true, and why is this so?

I have to say that I don’t remember anything different about my periods after a donation.  I mean, if it was different, it wasn’t enough that I could tell.  And, yeah, you’re super fertile after a donation.  I would be wary about having sex after your retrieval.  It’s possible the doctor left an egg inside a follicle, you never know.  Better safe than sorry:  Wait 10 days minimum, and after you have your period post-retrieval, you’re in the clear.

I have just completed my first egg donation cycle.  Everything went smoothly and I had such a great experience that I would love to donate a second time.  It’s been almost 2 weeks since the retrieval, and as of yesterday I still hadn’t heard anything from the agency to see if I wanted to donate again.  I decided yesterday to email the director to let her know I was interested in donating again, but all she wrote back was that she would keep me posted.  My question is, in order to donate a second time, does there have to be a pregnancy or are they just waiting to see if the eggs are normal and can be fertilized?  The nurse told me just after waking up from the anesthesia that I had already started ovulating, but they were pleased to say they were still able to retrieve 8 eggs.  I asked the nurse at that time if 8 eggs was considered a successful retrievel and she said yes, but now I’m wondering if that wasn’t good and maybe I won’t beable to donate again?  Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Congratulations on your cycle!  My donations yielded–what I wold consider–a lot of eggs every time; that said, I don’t know what a high number is, and I don’t know what a low number is,  only that it just takes one egg.  I wouldn’t worry too much about that being a factor.  But the thing with the selection process is that it’s completely out of your hands.  You’ve let your agency know that you’re interested in another cycle–which I think is hoped–but that’s where your campaign needs to end.  There is nothing your agency can do about getting you matched, either.  You’re matched based on what a recipient is looking for–being you is the most you can do to be proactive about being a donor.  Hang tight, you’re not being demoted or taken off any lists or forgotten about.  Some people don’t get matched at all, and for some people, it takes years.  You’ve been matched and had a successful cycle…the next one is an incredible bonus, but like every other part of your life–you can’t count on a bonus.  Be patient and good luck!

I am going to be taking your same approach to dealing with family and friends.  The only person I who knows I am doing this is my husband.  I will not tell my parents or friends.  With that said, I am in the process of filling out my family medical history.  Most of the answers I know for sure, but my family is not the most forthcoming about “issues”.  For instance, I believe that my mother may have taken medication for depression in the past but that is only because of something mentioned briefly by my father many years ago.  I never asked more, so I never got more info.  How should I go about answering the medical history?  I don’t want to tell my family why I am doing it, nor will they be very happy to answer the questions without a very good reason for doing so.  If I answer everything to the best of my ability and err on the side of caution will there be issues later?  Will the fertility clinic be able to somehow verify the info I give them beyond just going on my word (i.e. looking into my family’s medical history, or contacting them personally)?

Well, I won’t say I’m stumped, but I’m kinda stumped–in terms of the advice I could possibly offer you.  I have to be candid and tell you that not telling your family, which I completely understand, is a personal choice, and can certainly affect your ability to honestly fill out your application and proceed through the screening process.  It’s not that the answers to your questions don’t exist, it’s that you don’t want to ask the questions.  And that is-again, and without judgment–the logical answer to this conundrum.  It’s not so much a mystery as it is a don’t-ask-don’t-tell situation, you know?  I understand your position, I understand your hesitation in not wanting to ask the necessary questions, but the truth is that these questions are, indeed, necessary, and as a result, not having answers to them could result in not being accepted by an agency.  That’s really all I can tell you, and I know it’s not much of a help, but the solution to this one is all you, kiddo.  Good luck, talk to the agency you’re applying to and tell them the situation…there is so much power in being forthcoming; see what they say–you’ve gotta tell someone, may as well be your agency.

Did the hormones that were injected throughout the process make you moody?

Nah.  Not for me.  But, in general, I don’t have emotional periods.  Whatever your behavior on your period will be much like your behavior on hormones.  I am not a crampy, emotional, lethargic period-haver; PMS isn’t something that even registers with me until I realize I’m sleepy around 4 p.m. and I can’t figure out why, and then I figure out I’m about 10-days from having my period.  I’m blessed, for sure.  That said, when I’m on hormones, I don’t get any symptoms. I have energy, I sleep like a rock–and I don’t need as much of it, and I’m even-tempered.  It’s weird, but welcome.  I guess I’ll be a good pregnant lady.  The worst thing about donations isn’t the hormones, it’s that I can’t have a cocktail at the end of the day.  That’s painful for me.  Very.  I’d be surprised if you experienced noticeable change in your behavior to the point of wondering what must be causing you to act this way.  Good luck!