Egg donor blog

I donated last year and am about to donate again, but have been offered another cycle that would put me back to back, meaning starting medications again a couple weeks after my retrieval. I saw you mention you did donations back to back, were they really back to back or are there too any risks in going back on the stimulating medications soon after a retrieval?

Well, to be honest, when you say you’ll donate and then start meds a couple weeks after that, I get nervous.  Quite nervous.  The standard for back-to-back cycles is that you should have 2 periods before you donate a next time.  I never donated so back to back that I felt like my body was being compromised, or I didn’t have time to FULLY recover.  You’re in charge still at this point, and if they are insistent on using you as a donor, you need to take your health into your own hands and make it very clear that you don’t feel comfortable doing these cycles so closely together.  And there shouldn’t be a doctor in the world who wouldn’t back you up on that.  If they push for it, I would be very, very wary.   As much as you’re helping someone, you ain’t a baby factory, and your health is required for anything to be successful.  I repeat:  If they are pushing for you to start meds two weeks after you have a retrieval, I would strongly object.  At MINIMUM, you should take a solid 4 weeks to breathe, if nothing else.  On the reg, you should be waiting 6 weeks before you even entertain going back on meds.  Good luck, and remember, you’re in control of your stress and anxiety level; don’t allow someone else to take over where these decisions are concerned.

I’m currently in the middle of my first cycle and started injectable medication a few days ago. I have an overnight trip with a couple girlfriends this coming weekend which was planned way before my cycle. I haven’t told these friends that I’m donating and am hoping to be able to discretely do my injections so they don’t notice. Is that a crazy idea in your opinion? Do you have any advice or recommendations for stealth injecting?

Not a silly question at all, and I’ve definitely had to do it.  Before you go, put everything you need for a single injection into a single plastic baggy (one needle cap/syringe, 2 alcohol pads and whatever else the routine of your injection entails; 3 baggies for 3 days of injections, for example) and then sneak yourself into the bathroom and inject with all your tools you have pre-packaged.  Your meds will most likely need to go into a fridge, but most meds do, so it’s not weird; you could be on an antibiotic for anyone knows, you know?  Just dip into the bathroom or bedroom or whatever.  If you don’t mention it, or make a big deal out of it, chances are that no one else will, either.  Just plan ahead.  Make sure you’re prepared before you leave your house for all the times you’ll need to duck out so that when you do, it’s fast.  Have fun, and good luck!

Do agencies/doctors allow you to take hormone pills instead of shots? Is that a possibility to avoid putting a needle in yourself? I have some hesitation about doing that exact thing… though if there is no alternative I will.

Unfortunately, injections are the only route available for hormones.  The injections almost kept me from doing it, too.  But then I figured if it were the most awful thing in the world, no one would do it;  it can’t be that bad.  On my first day of injections, my P.O. gives me a tip that changed everything:  Numb the injection site with a cold can of Coke.  Made sense, but I never would have thought of it, and it couldn’t hurt to try.  I took a bottle of beer–it’s all I had–and put it to my stomach for a complete commercial break.  Then I gave myself the injection immediately.  I didn’t feel a thing.  Not a single thing.  It was almost like I wanted to do it again because I was so in disbelief about how easy it was.  After that, I didn’t have a single hang-up about anything again.  Don’t let it deter you from the whole experience.  It’s not just a sorta-solution, it’s a game changer.  Give yourself the green light.

I’m 19 years old. My family has a history of prostate cancer, alcoholism, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but no longer need to take medication for it. I’m a pale, blue-eyed, blond haired girl- 5′2″, 130 lbs, 3.9 GPA in high school, going to college next fall…ballerina, singer, and actress. Am I good enough to be an egg donor?

Unfortunately, becoming an egg donor has less to do with whether you’re good enough, and more about whether your genes are good enough.  I’m sure you’re amazing, and beautiful and intelligent, BUT, everything else you mentioned that is associated with your medical/genetic history is a very clear red-flag for prospective parents.  I touched on this when I was asked about cancer running in the family a few months back.  Read my post, and see if it helps clear anything up for you.  Good luck!

http://askaneggdonor.com/will-cancer-in-my-family-automatically-disqualify-me/

Why do all egg donors have to be in normal BMI?  Even if you are not is there a way for you to donate?

I think it’s reasonable for donors to be within the normal BMI range.  Like any other set of conditions for an unpredictable process:  Whatever data points can be standardized, or whatever risk can be avoided or mitigated, every attempt should be made to do so.  It would be like buying a dented can at the grocery store; everything inside is probably just fine,  but why risk what you can’t see if there is a clear way you can avoid the risk?

I am in my first cycle right now and I was wondering how long the recovery was after the retrieval? Will I need to be bed ridden for the first couple of days, and do you get a period or bleeding right after the retrieval? How far after the retrieval are you able to be sexually active without a great chance of becoming pregnant and or being in discomfort?

After your retrieval, you won’t feel like doing much.  There are no hard and fast rules, but it wouldn’t matter if there were, because your body will pick your pace for you.  I would count on being out of the game for about 4 days.  And of you feel better on Day 3, great, but continue to take it easy because just like anything else, not allowing yourself adequate time to heal will just prolong the healing process in general.  This is not a return-to-life-the-next-day kind of a procedure.  You may have some bleeding, but probably not.  I never did, but I was told it’s a possibility.  Your period will show back up about 3 -4 weeks after retrieval.  And I will be very honest–and this is gonna sound weird and probably gross–you’ll have some discomfort when you have to go #2.  I dunno what it is about the way things move all up in and around your intestines, but it doesn’t feel good.  You’re not dying, nothing is wrong, but until you actually poop, you’ll be in pain while you try–by Day 2, that should pass.  It’s a part of the fact that you just had a needle stick your insides about 20 times.  That takes it toll.  And don’t be even thinking about sex for at least 10 days.  If you really don’t want kids, then hold off for 2 weeks.  There is no telling how easily you could get pregnant.  Better safe than sorry!  You should be back to normal–including losing the “baby weight”–in about 10 days.  I would start taking a slow-paced walk on the 3rd day of recovery if for no other reason than to get out and get your blood flowing, and gradually increase your physical activity so that you’re back to real-life by the second week after retrieval.  Your attention to your recovery could make or break how you view the donor process.  I’d take as much care of it as you did your injections and appointments.  Good luck!

My sister-in-law is having trouble conceiving on her own. She has been through 2 failed IVF treatments and thinking of going again. We talked about getting a donor egg (because her FHS level is a problem), and we even talked about me giving her my eggs. I have two beautiful children and honestly I do not want any more children. However, I am having very mixed fillings about everything. Our family is very close and I know I will always be in this child’s life as their aunt and I don’t want to be their mother, but I am not sure how I will feel. Looks always play apart in having kids, matter of fact people always say my daughter looks like my sister in law, but I think how will she feel about them saying her child looks like me? Or what if something goes wrong and the child is born with a birth defect would she blame me? I talked to my husband and he is ok either way, but thinks that it is special to do this and is for it. Just want some thoughts.

I was interested in doing egg donation for the first time. I realize it’s not an easy process but is it doable with a full time job? I’m 32 years old in great health, don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Honestly, just need the money. Can you recomend a reliable agency or point me in the right direction to where I can get informaiton? What is the pain level like? What is the worst part? After the day of retrieval could I go back to work and be fine?

Well, I know my agency has an age limit of 30-years-old, but it’s not the only agency in town.  I would do some research on age limits, and see which agency can accommodate your age–and I know it seems strange that 32 might be too old, but it is what it is in this industry.  I can’t recommend an agency for you, as I was only with one, but it’s a relatively easy search, and if you could find this blog, you will easily find the answers you need.  As for everything else, I don’t care why you want to donate.  Money, emotion, bucket list–makes no difference to me.  It’s a massive amount of money–in my opinion–and it’s worth every penny.  If that’s you’re objective, you’re in the right place.  I didn’t think there was a worst part.  I know how weird that sounds, but the entire experience for me was a good one, through and through.  Maybe it’s because I love to have order and control, and following a strict regimen of meds and appointments is right up my alley, but even if it weren’t I can’t imagine coming out on the other side of egg donation and having anything but good thoughts.  Based on your direct, straight-forward question–with no spelling, grammar errors or ridiculous anywhere in the verbiage–I think you’ll be just fine on this one.  I will say, though, to your last question:  Returning to work.  It won’t happen the next day.  You won’t want it to, and your body won’t be able to.  My first donation was on, like, a Friday and I said I’d be back to work on Monday and that didn’t happen.  I felt so fine, just lethargic, so I acted like I didn’t just have an invasive surgery, and I overexerted, and I was very sorry.  After that first one, I took a week off for every donation.  It’s the only tricky part, but it’s necessary.  I’m a beast of an athlete, and I have an absurd tolerance for pain, but there is no ignoring the fact that your body needs to heal whether you feel fine or not.    If you can swing the time off for recovery, then green light…go get ‘em.  But if you are planning–or are only able–to take a day, maybe two days, off work, you will not fare well.  Think about it.  I have no doubt you’re capable and in it to win it, but the time commitment is pretty substantial because of your appointments, meds schedule and recovery time, so you will need to be prepared for that, definitely.  Good luck!